So GRATEFUL...

Life was put into perspective for us this past Friday in a very hard way.  We witnessed a miracle and are so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father and the angels that surround our children daily.  

Payson has been so hot all summer but this past Friday there was a cool breeze.  I opened the windows to let some air in and cool down the house.  Derek had just left to go back to work and the rest of us were in the family room.  I was sorting laundry aware that Elise was playing happily behind me by the bean bag and couch.  She was singing something about Dora and dancing around when I heard a sound.  I can't describe it except that I knew that Elise had fallen.  I turned around but I didn't see Elise anymore.  My brain couldn't process it and I thought she must have fallen behind the couch but that didn't make sense since the couch rests completely against the wall.  The next few minutes are a blur but I think Marshall said, "Mom! Elise fell out of the window!"  I rushed outside and there Elise was getting up from the concrete.  Her hair was in her face and I thought she was bleeding.  From there I thought, "internal bleeding, concussion, spinal injury, broken bones..."  I was TERRIFIED!  I called Derek and told him to come, Elise needed to go to the hospital.  I rushed her to the van and saw my good friend and neighbor outside.  I yelled to her for help and she came and watched my boys.  

Elise only cried a little when she first fell but from the time I put her in the van and for the next few hours she did not cry at all.  She was in complete shock.  Her eyes were wide and her breathing started to be labored. I remember when I was hit by the truck and had internal bleeding how hard it was for me to breath.  I knew I needed to hurry to the hospital.  

I carried her into the ER and barely was able to communicate to the emergency personnel that she had fallen.  The nurse said, "She does not look good!  Give me the baby!" and then took her from my arms and ran her back to a trauma room.  From there 5 to 10 hospital staff descended on her, taking her blood pressure, hooking up an iv, taking blood, placing a neck brace, doing an ultrasound of her abdomen.  They kept asking me questions and I estimated that she had fallen 15 to 20 feet.  Thank goodness I am not good with numbers because Derek has since measured it and she fell about 10 to 12 feet which is less but still a long way.  

Derek came in and immediately I felt calmer and I think Elise must have too. I feel bad that I was such a wreck in front of her.  He kept talking to her, telling her everything would be okay and kissing her forehead.  There is almost nothing worse than seeing your child lying on a hospital bed helpless and hurt.  I hope we never go through anything like this again.

They told us that the ultrasound showed no internal bleeding but that a CT scan would need to be done just to be sure.  Its amazing how money does not matter when it comes to getting help for your child!  While we waited for the radiologist to come in Derek gave her a blessing.  I was so grateful he could do that.  When the radiologist came in she looked at us and then asked which parent could help make her feel more calm as only one of us could go with her.  I guess I can laugh now because I think that was her way of politely saying that it would be better if I stayed behind and her Dad go with her.  Punks. I was not happy to say goodbye even for a few minutes.

This whole time Elise did not cry at all.  She was almost catatonic which was also scary.  Her eyes were still wide and she was still attentive.  If she was asked a question she would try to nod her head but did not say anything.  Maybe about half hour into the hospital experience, Derek got up to get something prohibiting her view of him and she choked out, "Daddy!" He didn't leave her side after that.

Then we played that awful waiting game to find out the results.  The good news is that she slowly started to become more like herself.  I was amazed at well she was bouncing back.  She told us she wanted to go home and that she was thirsty.  Derek put home videos from his phone on for her to watch .  This is when Derek got this picture:

 I knew he had taken this picture but I didn't see it til later and I was surprised to see her smiling.  That was the first time she smiled the whole time.  It is a hard picture for me to look at so I am really glad she is smiling and looks more like herself.  

When I went to ask if she could have some water the doctor told us she could and that he had the results back.  I took this as a very good sign.  He came into the room with two thumbs up.  He told us she had absolutely no internal injury or broken bones.  He couldn't believe how lucky we were and that he could let us go home without admitting her for some emergency procedure.  Talk about feelings of RELIEF!  She wasn't all back to herself  but definitely was getting there as she was charming all the hospital staff with her smiles and cute little things to say.  She has a way of warming peoples hearts.  

Throughout this experience I have found many tender mercies- I remembered where my phone was (sounds funny but its true that I often don't know where it was and since I didn't have presence of mind in my panicked state I was quite grateful to know), I had planned on calling my neighbor to come watch the boys but as I put Elise in the van my neighbor just happened to be taking out her trash and came right over, Derek hadn't quite made it back to work and was able to turn the car around and meet me at the hospital, and the biggest tender mercy of all was the way the fall itself went down.  Elise fell in such a way that she sustained no injuries.  Yes, she is soar but for such a high fall its a miracle she came out almost completely unscathed.  Almost directly under the window was a little tikes basketball hoop turned upside down that cushioned her fall.  The basketball hoop prevented her from hitting her head and we think even made her bounce a little preventing internal injuries.  I never could have imagined how grateful I would be to have that basketball hoop when I bought it for Marshall when we lived in California!

    Of course, I want to go back in time and close that blasted window but since I can't I will focus on these tender mercies and the gift of my daughter and her life.  This experience has made me realize even more the blessings my children are to me.  They are so precious.  I love them now more than ever!

I know my account has been long-winded so it will sound funny when I say that there truly are no words to express the gratitude I feel!!!  I am so grateful I get to see this sweet smile again and again!!!!